Monday, October 10, 2011

Stand- still

I never seem to be on here anymore, guess I feel I have nothing too noteworthy to add to the world. Besides, not sure anyone but me is listening to my own thoughts anyways. Yet, I do always feel just a tad better when I am venting in my writing. So here I sit again, not sure what to say...yet inside, I have so much that is being said.
The world just keep on moving, despite the fact that I still feel like i am standing still. People enjoying their jobs, having babies and starting families, people traveling here and there and exloring new places. Everyone seems to be moving in postive directions, constant change, always evolving. It almost feels like I am in a bubble just floating around watching the world and people in movement. I can't seem to create any of the changes and movement I would like to see in my own space. Always feeling stunted. 
Losing weight doesn't seem to be working; either from health stuff or lack of motivation.  Sometimes I feel I want a baby, other times I feel not so sure.  My hubby and I seem to have gotten into a rut (already, after just a year of marriage, altho 8 years together) where there is no more intimacy or sex. Its constant up's and down's with the step kids and ex wife (altho this I expect). I have little to no friends, and I never see the couple I do, they too seem to be in constant change and movement. I am burned out at work, after 8-9 years, yet I do enjoy the people I work with but have no "career" to change jobs. My heatlth is an ever constant issue, from one issue to the next.  Re-reading all I just said now, it reads like just a bunch of complaning and little changing on my part. I know it takes my cooperation, focus, and drive to make it all get better.  But then why can't I?   I can't seem to do anything but stand still.......

Thursday, August 18, 2011

Lost in thought

I'm not sure why, but the past few days have been full of memories for me. I have had many moments of  remembering...people...animals..times in my life, etc. It's odd how things come back to you in thought over the years.
Been thinking about my Boo kitty a lot, I sure miss him. We got a new kitten, and he is adorable and I love the little fella already, he will be a cool cat. Yet no one can replace Boo. It makes me sad how much I miss my old friend, he was so much more than a cat to me. But life goes on,  and I know I did what needed to be done for him. Doesnt make my heart miss him any less, I almost feel silly still having tears in my eyes over losing him. Such it is, eh.
On a happier note, I can't believe I will be married a year already in just a few weeks. I mean, yes we have been together for 8 years but its amazing how fast time flies. Sometimes it seems like just a few months ago that I had my special day, other days it feels longer. We are going to go have a nice expensive dinner at a restuarant we have wanted to try, I am looking forward to it. I always remind myself just how lucky I am to find someone who loves me so much; he is such a good guy, and I'm so grateful.
 All for now, too much going thru my mind to put it all down on ink.....

Saturday, July 30, 2011

In Memory of Boo kitty

I recently had to put my beloved kitty of 12 years down. It was heart wrenching but had to be done to end his suffering. I miss him terribly but know it was the humane thing to do as his owner and best friend. Here is the story I wrote about him, in an effort to remember and celebrate him. RIP Boo 7/22/11

I still remember the day my grandma called to tell me she just found a little black kitten in her mailbox, we both thought it was so mean that someone had did that. She said she couldn't keep him and that if I could just keep him awhile, and then try to find him a home. Needless to say, I never found him another home. I fell in love with him pretty quick. As a kitten he loved playing with toy balls, he would get on his back and scratch at the ball with all four paws, it was so funny. As an adult, he continued to make me smile and laugh. He loved cheese; I swear all I had to do was open any kind of cheese wrapper or bag and he would come running, he could sniff it out anywhere and always expected a few bites. He loved his scratchy pad too, and always ran to it when he was happy, and I would pat him on the butt and tell him he was a good kitty, and he would scratch it some more. He enjoyed looking out the window or screen door, usually keeping a watchful eye making sure no other cats came on his turf. He loved going outside with my husband and I in the grass or patio, he would roll around on the sidewalk in the sunshine or explore the smells and things around him. He grew to love being in the bathtub too; he would give us this little look and meow, and would beg us to turn the faucet on just a little to drink some water. It was sometimes kind of annoying, but mostly it just made us laugh. He had a Nerf ball that used to be the kids, that he would pick up and carry around the house, howling at the same time. It was one of the funniest things, something we were never successful in getting on video tape. He would often be waiting at the door when my husband got home from work, almost like he knew. It made my husband feel special I think, being greeted like that. He had a blanket on one cushion of the couch, where especially in the winter he would lay with us and watch T.V. Or every once in awhile, he would be curled up on the bed with Romi (our other cat) taking a snooze, or they would chase each other around the house. At nighttime, he would always come up on the bed a few minutes, and crawl up on my chest and belly to get some lovin' and pettin'. I think that is what I will miss the most, our special bonding time; him looking at me, and I him, which such love in our eyes and hearts.
He had a few issues in his life health wise; he often had a stinky butt we had to shave, a few years ago he had some mouth surgery and had a bunch of teeth removed, and just recently we found out he had advanced lung cancer. The lung cancer seemed to happen very quick, with symptoms of coughing and being more lazy occurring in just a month. After we had the x-rays, it was almost like once he knew that we knew, things went downhill within just a few days. We found out on a Wednesday, and by that same Friday he was dying and I knew what I had to do. It still amazes me how fast it all happened.  The thought of taking him to the vet when he was in such bad shape, just didn't feel right to me. Home to Heaven was so wonderful; from talking to the receptionist who was so helpful and caring, to the vet that came to help my Boo. It felt like a friend of the family was coming to help him,and he was so great and talked to me and made me feel at ease with my decision. I couldn't bear seeing him suffer, I knew I had to give him one last gift and help him. It was truly such a blessing to my Boo kitty and myself. In the last hour before the vet came, I sat and spoke with Boo. I told him to let me be the brave one now, to let go and be at peace. I spoke about all the good times, and what a good kitty he was. It may sound weird, but I swear he listened. That last hour I saw him letting go, and I did my best to be strong for him and be right there by him.
Now that he has gone, the house feels so lonely. I keep thinking he will come running in the bathroom, and jump in the bathtub. Or that he will come see me at night, and lay on my chest. And my other kitty is very sad too, she misses her friend.  I miss him terribly, and it feels like a piece of my heart is missing. He was the best companion animal and friend I could have had. He was my big Boo bear. But I know we will meet again. I will carry you with me always, Boo, you were one of a kind.    Be at peace, my Boo kitty, all my love.

Monday, June 27, 2011

My own little crazy

I wonder if I made a mistake.  Gosh, I feel I make those often. Is that normal? Ha!
I have been on antidepressants since I was a teenager, a long time to be on presciption medications. I told my husband how long I had been on them, and he looked at me like I was crazy. Ironic, eh?!  I explained to him how some people just have an inbalance and need them, I being one of those people. I weened myself the proper way, through my Dr., but now I am done with that and am trying to just transition. Not going so well, the fact that I am PMS'ing isn't helping much at all.  :(
I made this decision when I started doing a 3 month supplement cleanse for my endometriosis, now 2 months ago. I also then started taking some things that would help with the depression/anxiety. I thought that taking them early on, letting them build up in my system while still weening off prescriptions stuff, would be plenty. But now I feel that this wave of emotional crying spells, super irritability, and all over feelings....is one that I want off of and can't handle. My basic everyday functions are affected. And it's exactly how I feel if I am not on my meds. Yet I wonder if I can just hang in there, if it will pass and I will be ok. I do NOT want to go back on them at all. I wish I had this answer.

This all started in my long journey to become healthy for pregnancy. Now, I find myself wondering if I would have be a good Mom.  I feel scared, and unsure and yet don't want to give that dream up.  But can I do this on my own? Because this road has lots left to travel on before I see the end which is a baby....

Friday, May 27, 2011

Excuse me, Mr. Officer?

I have been paying much more attention to the actions of police officers, and how they are sonmehow justified by the higher-up's and some of the people in the world.  ( As I mentioned in my previous post, my senses have been heightened lately to the subject of animals/law/governement lately with the shooting of my friend's dog unjustifiably.)
Now while a few people I know, whom are close to me, disagree with me on this...I do believe there is a time and place for police officers. Abuse, maintaining order in certain situations, investigating murders, and a few other things....are where I choose to believe its the right thing for the right reasons.  And I am sure some of them are actually nice people when they are at home, being a normal person. Yet, I draw the line and agree with my family/friends on most other things.  Again, I could rant on this for awhile..but let me share some examples.
I was behind a police offier yesterday on the way to work, a sherriff no less. We were waiting at a light, and you are supposed to wait at the white line. He just continued to creep over the white line, until he was halfway in the middle of the intersection.  If it was an average citizen, you would get a ticket.  He then proceeded to speed about 10 over the speed limit the whole way, again most would get a ticket. He never used turn signals, looked to be texting, etc.  Again, an average citizen would get a a ticket.  So who police's the police?  They are just given the power to do whatever they want mostly, with no consequence.
Do whatever you want on the road, cause no one will pull you over.  Arrest someone without getting their side of the story, or looking at the facts. Shoot a dog that isn't doing anything wrong, not attacking or lunging at you, just came over to see who you were. And if there was an investigation questioning your actions from the higher up's who are supposed to look at both sides, there will still be no consequences, so who cares. They will just protect their own, not the rights of the people.  Must be nice to walk around with a God complex knowing you can say and do mostly whatever you want, and little if anything, will happen to you.   And they wonder why so many people are against cops and not nice to them! How can we trust the system, and trust the officers, when this is usually how it is? 
It maddens me that things are this way, that so many officers of the law, rarely have to answer for their actions. And if they do, it gets covered up or excused. Don't we the people; who pay the taxes, have to obey the law or suffer the consequences, work for what we have, etc.....deserve the same from them as equals? They aren't "better" then the average citizen. Their life is not more prized then my own and my family's. It doesn't mean they can do whatever they want, take what they want, just because they went to school to be a police officer.  And it leads back to the higher-up's; the sheriff's, the chief of police, the mayor...the whole darn government who continues to allow it to be this way.  They makes speeches, write articles, talk to the news and newspapers.....about making changes, making it better.  Really....when?   I say...NOW!!!!!

For the love of animal rights

You can google "police and dog shootings", and many articles and sad stories come up. Yes, some may be justified for the protection of children or an aggressive animal at large type thing, but many are not.  Many are where it's a very unclear, grey area where the law permits it and where it needs some serious looking-at.  My best friend and sister-in-law's dog' shooting, has brought my attention to these issues much more so lately. In Colorado, the law talks specifically about using force "upon another person," and states that someone can use a degree of force that is believed to be necessary for protection. Yet the law doesn't address use of force against animals. Why not?  In this day and age, with so many people having animals and thinking of them as part of the family and being incredibly special ....why the hell has this not been addressed by our so called "citizen protecting and serving, united for all" government??  So many of us are so concerned with the suffering of animals, but the government is not. A few animals rights quotes I like:

"Life is life - whether in a cat, or dog or man. There is no difference there between a cat or a man. The idea of difference is a human conception for man's own advantage". ~Sri Aurobindo

"It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions". ~Mark Twain

"The basis of all animal rights should be the Golden Rule: we should treat them as we would wish them to treat us, were any other species in our dominant position". ~Christine Stevens

"If a group of beings from another planet were to land on Earth - beings who considered themselves as superior to you as you feel yourself to be to other animals - would you concede them the rights over you that you assume over other animals? " ~Attributed to George Bernard Shaw

"The assumption that animals are without rights and the illusion that our treatment of them has no moral significance is a positively outrageous example of Western crudity and barbarity. Universal compassion is the only guarantee of morality. " ~Schopenhauer

I could go on and on with animal rights quotes. I could rant and rave in this blog for days about the numerous ways animals are not identified and given rights. Whether it's shootings by police officers unjustifiably, puppy mills, fur factories, etc......why are they not considered? Why are they not spoken for? I suppose the debate could go on and on, as yes I eat meat and just choose not to think about what the animals go through so that I can eat it. And yes, I know PETA does all they can to make a difference, but its not enough to force changes in the law. Just as, to many ignorant people out there, animals are just "pets". 

These injustices results in an incalculably great impoverishment of the human spirit. Is that what we want for ourselves? Until we extend our circle of compassion to all living things, humanity will not find peace.

Justice For Ava

A few weeks ago, on 5/10/11 to be exact, my sister-in-law's dog was shot by an officer in the Erie Police Department.  This was a total travestry, and uncalled for. I have written so many letters and pleadings, I won't go over it again here.  But I would like to take yet another moment of silence to remember dear sweet Ava, who was a member of our family and extended family. She was such a great girl, and so loved    .................................................................................................................................

I do ask that if anyone actually reads my blog, that you take a minute to visit and like the Justice for Ava page on Facebook. As well as sign the petition that has been underway for Ava, and there you can read the story as well.
 http://www.thepetitionsite.com/362/justice-for-ava-dog-shot-and-killed-by-erie-police/

Thank you...may you rest in peace, Ava.....

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

My journey ahead

Been awhile since I have posted, so much on my mind I can hardly process it all, lots of changes and things to work on ahead. Where to start...
I have started weening myself off my antidepressants, which much to my surprise (since I have tried before with not so good luck) is going really well. Its crazy when I think about how long I have been on them, since I was about 18...11 years or something. I really feel like some people really do have a insufficiency in their brain and need them, yet I have also always felt a little embarrassed to be on them. I believe my husband is probably right when he says that not only does he not like prescription medicines, but that their is probably a lot more not-so-good crap in prescriptions that the companies just don't tell you. It seems like most the people close to me are against them overall; and when I tell them how I feel about getting off them, how I am proud of myself, etc...I get what feels like negative reactions in some ways. How my body is toxic from them, how they are so bad, how they don't agree with being on them to begin with, etc. Honestly, I think I won't talk to anyone about it anymore. I am proud of myself, and whether it was ever good for me to begin with, is irrelevant. This will be the first time since I was 18 that I haven't been on ANY prescription medicines. Antidepressants, birth control, nothing. I am anxious to see how my body responds, I have a feeling its gonna like it.
I have taken my IUD out as well (which was a less then enjoyable or easy experience) and am not going to be on any birth control. I am starting a cleanse in a week or so, for my Endometriosis as well. I will be taking a good share of supplements/herbs now, and right now I am a little overwhelmed by the thought of them all and their schedule. But at least they are natural and will be helpful in various ways.
I am also going to be making diet and exercise changes, much needed and super long overdo. Gosh, I fear this will be the hardest for me, as it always is. Its funny, it seems so hard to make that connection between mind and body. To make the changes I know in my heart I absolutely have to make for my health and my future. It frusturates me so much, how I am getting in my own way of what I need to do, what I can have and be. It's a hard pill to swallow, it really is.  But i am trying to be vigilent, and strong. I am trying to focus and buckle down. I could really use some clarity, energy and better willpower though. Habits are hard to break I suppose. In the end, in what I hope to just be 6 months, I can start trying for a baby. To me, this is the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow. The only thing I feel I am truly missing out on, that most already have. The thing the seperates me from so many, even those close to me. Parenthood. My one true love meant to be.
Please send positive vibes towards my dreams and goals. :)

Monday, April 25, 2011

Holiday Hangover

There seems to be this feeling of obligation during the holidays, that you have to go to all the family functions and gatherings. As I am getting older, and as I am learning through experience, it really is ok to just say no and stay home. Though sometimes easier said then done.
I have been with my now husband for 7 years, and while I am not positive of all the why's and how-comes, he prety much hates all holidays. Doesn't even seem to like his own birthday (which to me, how can you not like your own day to celebrate yourself even if it means you get older). He hates having to drive around, fit in sometimes cramped spaces, be all social and chipper, just all the hustle and bustle. And while I understand some of this, and some holidays are stressful, he really is miserable to be around. And it seems his children are developing his bad attitude about having to go visit family during the holidays now (except for Christmas of course cause they get presents).  After feeling like I am in the middle and always trying to be the peacemaker and find excuses for his attitude, I am getting to my wits end with it. I finally told him last night, that he should just start saying no and we will do our own thing at home. He agreed, shocker there. Ha! 
I remember when I was a little kid, and I liked seeing family during the holidays. Going to someone's house for yummy food, sitting around talking, etc.  Although I also remember the parts I disliked; cleanup, having to get dressed up, driving around all day. There is positive and negatives to everything, I suppose.
I hope when I have a child, that I can teach them the value of family and being together, because to me thats what it is really supposed to be about. With the crazy, sometimes stressful times, that the holidays can bring its easy to lose sight of that. I am certainly not exempt at times. It makes sense to feel exhausted after a holiday/family function at times.  With all this being said, and having my own little family now, I think at least a couple of times we will try to do our own holiday just us at home. It will save myself and others the attitude my hubby and step kids seems to bring along. And maybe we can get back to the real meaning of holidays, togetherness. :)

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Home Sweet Home

I just got home last night from almost 5 days of house/pet-sitting, and I realize I have learned a few valuable lessons from it. For one, damm it's good to be home! HA! 
As I get older, I am finding it harder to be gone from home for too long. I house/pet sit for another friend sometimes, but its usually only for a night or weekend, and I think that's about all I can do anymore. If I was single, I think it wouldn't bother me. But now being married, having my own animals, house,etc...makes it hard to be away. And it makes me grumpy, mad, and miserable while I am gone. Not at whom I am doing the favor for, but at myself. And I seem less tolerant of being at someone else's house, their animals, their bed, their everything. Makes me feel not so nice, and I think I am usually a nice chic. So lesson learned here, if its more then just a night or weekend, next time I will have to politely decline.
I was amazed at how damm good it felt to be home. Even in just my little modular home, it's home. Where my hubby is, whom tho I sound like a wimp, I don't like to be away from too long. Where my kitties are, who are my babies. My own bed, my own things, my own everything. I think we as human beings, have almost an unconscious knack, for taking even the smallest things for granted in our lives. Take a minute, and really think about that. About the things you are most grateful for, the everyday things we have..but don't take the time to appreciate. I for one, am very appreciative for all I have.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Judgements and Curiosities

I normally try not to be one of those judgemental people, who most people don't like (including myself), but lately it has "become me" it seems.  It probably doesn't help that I am unhappy with myself currently, and not sleeping well. While being in this judgemental state, it has also brought about a lot of curiosity kinds of questions. Step into my cluster of a mind.....watch your step, ha!
Is it an automatic thing that when you get a lot older, that you fit a certain "look" and "way"?  For example, why do so many older men have a limp in their step? Do you have to have the traditional short, "round" looking grey hair that you get washed and curled at the salon once a week? Why so many ugly tennis shoes and tube socks, why the sweaters and the kakhi's?  What's wrong with using seasonings in your food?  Do you lose all taste and style, do you just not care as you get to a certain age, its just about affordability and comfort?  I know that as you get older things change. Hearing and eyesight doesnt work as well. Many can't work and make the money they used to. Wake up earlier. Less hair. Bones get weaker. Don't eat much. Get grouchier. Now, let me retract a bit with the normal nice me and say...I love the older generations. They are the past, they have the experience. They have lived a full life with lots of memories. So my best guess, you just don't give a crap about some of that stuff anymore. It becomes little stuff that is irrelevant. Which is ok, it makes sense. But I will say, I'm hoping I don't conform to the "norm" on all of this. :)  Next....
The number of bad drivers seems to increase all the time. I really almost hate driving anymore. I never really was one of those kids that said "I can't wait till I get older", I knew it wouln't all be fun and games. So when I started driving, I knew it would be an interesting endeavour...but for awhile I didnt mind and it was kinda fun. That time is gone.  You got the tailgators; who even if you are going the speed limit or sometimes a bit over and you are in the correct lane, have to ride your butt. You got the slowies, who can't go the speed limit for the life of them, gosh forbid you go the legal posted limit. And you have the people who I don't know what to call; who drive in the fast lane but are going slower then the speed limit, then if you ride their butt (because they are in the wrong lane and speed) then they may get over to other lane but then speed up as if to say "screw you" for no real reason (except to maybe be jerks). There's the ones who don't use turn signals till the last second or at all, the one's who "California Roll" (altho I admit I am guilty of this), the one's who brake check every second, the one's who use 2 parking spots just because they are rude or are in a hurry. Oh my, the list goes on and on!  I'm not saying that I am a wonderful driver; I know that I too suck at driving sometimes, but hopefully not regularly. Notice I said "hope". Ha!
Re-reading my above rantings, I feel I sound so cranky and bitchy. I suppose sometimes it's hard not to get sucked up in the chaos of life, and all its trials. Perhaps I am just having a few weeks of being overcome by it all. Perhaps I won't re-read and edit, and just let it out. Thanks for listening...world or no one.... :)

Monday, March 14, 2011

Clutter of my mind

I can be driving home from work, and thinking about the day's events.  Sitting there watching T.V, and zoning out with all the things I see on the news or hear people say. Laying in bed at night, with thoughts of to-do's and what-if's and can-I's.  One way or another, my mind is constantly filled with all the thoughts racing around. Yet, trying to sit down and write daily like I want to, seems to be a struggle. 
How can I make my marriage better, and consistently put effort into it growing and building. Finding a way to get along with my stepkids (mostly my stepdaughter) and be kind and patient and take deep breaths. Ways to FINALLY put myself on my own list (and at the top of the list too), and work on doing things I like and getting healthy because I deserve it. How much I enjoy my two friends; and while sometimes it seems like I have no friends really, I barely have time for the two I have and I love and enjoy both of them, I need to see them more and girlie time is definetely good for my soul. How run-on sentences, where I ramble on, is not proper english. LOL.  I need to take time here and there, to sort out this cluttler of my mind. And, I need to get a voice recorder to help with this. HA!

Thursday, March 10, 2011

To Lent or Not

I was driving to work this morning, and they were discussing on the radio the topic of giving up something for Lent.  Now, I'm not religious so therefore I don't participate. And I say nothing against anyone's religion either, to each his own. But the conversation was interesting to me.
Lent is a time of sacrifice for Jesus, roughly fourty days long, although I believe some religions calculate a bit different. Traditionally, they are fourty days of fasting, whether from food or activities. Some say its a time to give up their vices. Some spend extra time praying to God, and spending time in Church. Fasting during lent was more severe in the ancient days, but generally meat, eggs and dairy products were forbidden. Some do no sweets (which would really be hard for me). In some ways little has shifted; people still take time out from devoruing meats,dairy, sweets. But in other ways, a lot  really has changed.
The radio program this morning brought up the topic of how some people believe that giving up Facebook for those fourty days, counts during the Lenten period. It was quite the discussion, and as with everything in the world, quite varying opinions on it. To a lot of people that was considered cheating, that the practice of staying away from the modern world we have grown so accustumed to, just doesn't count during the religious time. Or does it?  Some people can't avoid checking their Facebook ten times a day, its become an additction. Like the internet in general I think.  Could you do it?  Could you disable your Facebook account, or not check your email, or not google something...for fourty days?  Or should you stick to the no meat, eggs,dairy or sweets? Ifyou think about it, if people ate like they did during the times they speak about in the bible, perhaps there wouldn't be so many health issues today Interesting times we live in these days.  Have we really made progress, or just become eaten up in this social space?  Whatever you think on the topic; if you have enough willpower to go without something (for your beliefs) for fourty days...good for you for sticking to it. Mind over matter, right. It's a good way to practice selflessness, eh.

Spring is Springing

This winter has been pretty mild in Colorado in my opinion; hardly any snow and while its been cold it hasn't been severe really. Yet, I think many of us are feeling the spring itch. 
I was so excited to see tulips in the floral dept at the grocery store yesterday, I love the spring flowers! Potting soil and manure is bnow being sold outside stores. St Patty's Day shamrock plants are out, which are so cute. Iris's, Tulips, Daffadoils ...are all starting to come up. You can almost see the trees just waiting for their cues to start blooming away!  The grass is still brown, but it is just March. Spring is my favorite season, then Fall. The beginning and the end.
It's hard to NOT have it brighten your mood; just seeing all new life beginning again. Trees starting to get  green on their buds, flowers starting to peak through the rubbish, the days of blue skies are more frequent, and the birds even start to do some chirpimg. Kids starting to play outside more, being able to take walks in the fresh air with a friend, the bikes and skateboards getting pulled out of the closet. Mmmmm Yeah, I think I smell some spring coming on!

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

The EveryDay Things

My husband and I recently talked about moving out of state, mainly so that he would have a better chance of getting promoted in his career (other states are less competitive). For me, this was both scary and kinda exciting. I have always lived in Colorado, and I love it here. But I support my husband and we discussed how it would be nice on one hand to have a fresh start somewhere new to us, etc. But, he would have to leave his kids here with their mom. We talked about how the time with the kids would actually probably be more quality time; when they visited for breaks and such he could take off work and actually spend time with them and do stuff. That it wouldn't just be this mundane everyday stuff; come home, eat dinner, homework, T.V, go to sleep, and start again. And it got me thinking....
I think we take for granted these everyday things. These moments of hearing their laughter over a silly commercial or Dad being a goofball. Helping with math homework. Listening to singing coming from the backseat in the car. Having a war with the nerf guns. Watching basketball games, choir concerts where its just pretend singing, quick kung fu moves at practice. Pushing each other into the swimming pool, cool hiking trips, learning to skateboard. Watching them grow up, witnessing these small little moments that are "everyday things"...are actually special moments in time. In their life, in them becoming their own little special people. That we could stay and be part of.  That just isn't worth missing to further a career.
Needless to say we aren't moving now. Perhaps later on, we can revisit the idea when the kids are older. But for now, I have no doubt in my mind that this is a decision that won't be regretted.  
Take a minute, and think of all the everyday things you might be taking for granted. Moments overlooked. Moments not even noticed. I know I'm thankful for the everyday things, that make up this crazy life.

Friday, March 4, 2011

The "Kids these days" Debate

Grumblings about the next generation has been an ancient tradition, in which many of us engage, including myself. Socrates observed that children were more disobedient, had less respect for authority, and had poorer manners, than his generation. Wow, now doesn't that sound familiar?! Although much has changed since the times of ancient Greece, complaints really haven't. I complain about these exact things when it comes to my step kids.
How many times as a kid did you hear..."when I was your age"?  Followed by eye rolling and a heavy sigh from you.  Was the world really perfect then? Back then they did drugs, smoked cigarettes, had sex, were out of control. Every generation has their vices. Kids these days have more in common with kids from those days then most people originally thought.The current generation of young people seems self entitled, cocky, lazy, and yes less manners and less respectful. You turn on the news or read the newspapers; its news on kid shooting at school, teen suicides from bullying, obesity, younger murderers who seem "perfectly happy and normal".  It's Facebook, and sexually explicit and profanity in music videos, violent video games. What comes after cell phones, internet, and all other social media? If the internet went down, phones out, cable off...would most be completely lost?  Some worry that the danger is not for our children to lose ability to do certain tasks, but to maybe lose their ability to think for themselves. Someone said "we're preparing a world of wifi connected zombies".   These things are not just teenage, but societal. Issues indicative of the era in which we live. We all have outside influences to blame.
And while I love my Facebook and cell phone as well, I'd like to hope I would be able to survive in this day and age without all that technology, if needed.  I try to remember that kids these days are different, that its harder and not the way it used to be, even from the mere 10 years ago that I was in school. It seems it requires a lot more patience, a lot more deep breaths.  And while "kids these days" do have; less manners more disrespect, and are more self-entitled...they are also the future, and we have to carry the hope that they will pull through this era....better and more knowledagable then we. :)
     
                  

Thursday, March 3, 2011

The Five Senses

Who knows why I'm thinking of this topic. I think its because I was setting up my blog settings and there is an option that lets me list things I like, favorites, etc. And it got my thinking....
My mom has teased me for years that I "smell everything"...it does sound pretty funny I admit.  But think about, think about your five senses. Touch, Taste, Sight, Hearing, and Smell. While the sense of smell is probably my favorite, how do you really pick? 

Touch: someone's arms around you, hot/cold, sex, petting an animal, feel of clean sheets, etc
Taste: a yummy dessert, a home cooked meal by Mom, taste of someone's kisses, a good wine, etc
Sight: a beautiful sunset, watching the flowers bloom in the spring, the colors of fall leaves, seeing your children's smiles, reading a good book, etc.
Hearing: children's laughter, listening to a funny joke, the rain pitter-pattering on the roof, the sound of someone saying I love you, etc
Smell:  clean laundry, fresh cut grass, my Mom, my husband's neck, puppy breath, lotions, shampoos, flowers, fresh air, rain, etc etc....( I could REALLY go on and on about this sense, LOL)

Of course their is yucky stuff that you can touch. taste, see, hear or smell...but so many of us take advantage of even having these fabulous sensors, dont cha think?  I for one, LOVE them all!

What's your favorite? And what are some of your favs of each sense? Hmmmmm.......

Stepping out into Blog world...

I feel both exhilirated and anxious at the same time. I have a million things running through my mind right now. Am I silly to be sitting here writing this? Do people actually gain anything by blogging?  I would love to become a pro blogger for a side job. Although had writer's block not taken me over all those years ago in high school, perhaps I would already be pro. Either way, I know it feels good to be writing again. Even if just for lil ole' me. :)

I was thinking about something Cameron Diaz said once:
"I write constantly, but only in my journals. I have three of them: one for travel, one for home, and one I write in before bed. But the last thing I want is other people reading it..... What's really fun is reading your journal, like a year later, or even a month, and realizing how much you've changed. You're looking at something you said, something you really meant at the time, and you're like, 'I can't believe I ever really believed that! I am such an asshole!' I think that's the greatest thing about growing up...."

Makes me laugh.  While I totally relate on one hand, on the other hand...I would love for people to read my posts and just laugh, if nothing else. Or be able to relate, I think we all like being able to reach out and connect with another living being.  I think this will be fun.